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GELF
The writers of the series had stated early on in production that they did not want any aliens to exist in their show's universe; but as the series continued, in order to provide a stream of characters for the main crew to interact with, their cosmos was gradually populated with deranged robots and bizarre creatures that turned out to be the result of genetic engineering. Here are some of the GELFs which have appeared on Red Dwarf over the years: Kinitawowis The Kinitawowi are bulky humanoids that stand in at around six feet high; they are covered in warts and shaggy dull orange/copper/brown fur similar to that of an orangutan. Kryten states some GELFs (though he does not detail whether this is a feature unique to the Kinitawowi, affects certain species or is an invidual mutation) have their sphincteral orifice in their face, and as such touching of the face can be considered highly offensive to them. Their bodies are extremely tough; a direct blast of plasma from a bazookoid merely stunned a Kinitawowi at close range. The Kinitawowi were originally bred as quartermasters aboard deep space starships. They lead a primitive tribal existence on various moons and asteroids. Their space is bordered by gigantic stone warning beacons that resembled skulls many miles across carved out of asteroids. Arnold Rimmer recalled from old space legends that unfortunate humans that unwittingly wandered into Kinitawowi space were often skinned alive to make beanbags. Nevertheless, the Kinitawowi were one of the friendlier "kintetiakh" (or tribes) of humanoid GELFs and that they didn't always kill on sight as other humanoid GELFs apparently do. Indeed, not skinning strangers alive on sight was considered a warm greeting. Kinitawowi villages resemble African tribal villages, dimly-lit by flaming torches. The structures of these villages are simple huts or "watunga". After a successful trade, instead of a handshake, Kinitawowi custom is to hold the ankle of the other individual with one hand whilst the other does the same; and then jumping up and down on the spot. The Starbug crew first met the Kinitawowi when they were in need supplies, especially an oxygen-generation unit. The Kinitawowi had one to trade but required Lister to marry the chieftain's daughter in exchange. A disgusted Lister married the chief's daughter, but fled in the night. The furious chief (played by celebrity chef Ainsley Harriott who latter hosted Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg), sent his Emohawk after the Red Dwarf crew to drain their emotions. The Kinitawowi pursued Starbug across space in a battle cruiser, in a bid to return Dave Lister to his Kinatawowi wife until the Kinitawowi battle cruiser was crippled when it crashed onto an ice planet during a chase with Starbug. Cat and Kristine Kochanski later impersonate Kinatawowi to trade with a Simulant who hates humans but not GELFs. In the end they were tricked by the Simulant and his actual Kinatawowi crew mate who ransacked Starbug and stole the damaged form of Kryten. This Kinatawowi was killed when his ship, the SS Centauri was destroyed by Able, a mechanoid they kept who sacrificed himself to save the life of his "brother" Kryten and his companions. Brefewinos The Brefewino are a separate tribe of humanoid GELFs, who appeared in the "lost episode" of the seventh series, "Identity Within". They are vaguely similar in appearance to the Kinitawowi tribe except the Brefewino are taller, more muscular, hairy, mercantile and aggressive then their Kinitawowi counterparts. Brefewino tribesmen stand on average seven or eight feet high, but despite this their beards often almost reach the ground. They also weigh on average two tonnes. They were initially bred as butchers and are prolific gamblers, merchants, and slave traders, and amongst their favourite commodities are Felis sapiens. The universal currency of the Brefewino is Brefewinan, a kind of green lumpy paste in jars (made from small delicately preserved pulses). In order to enter a Brefewino trading post one must show exactly what their specific profession is with a "badge of merchantship". For example, Lister wore a potato to signify he was a farmer. Brefewino gambling dens resemble a Star Wars cantina. Brefewino music utilises more traditional instruments but is still fairly raucous and their beer is exceptionally strong. Vindaloovians In the series five episode "Gunmen of the Apocalypse", Lister and the Cat pretend to be members of a GELF species called the Vindaloovians in an attempt to outwit a rogue Simulant. While they are considered mere fiction in the television series, Vindaloovians were expanded into being an actual GELF race in the "Red Dwarf role-playing game", appearing first as racial stats in "The Series Sourcebook", then receiving a more detailed description in the "Extra Bits Book". Vindaloovians are a small, but proud, martial culture who descended from experimental GELFs that were left to evolve over millions of years with the aid of 20th century war movies and a plentiful supply of curry and other spicy foods (the Vindaloovian colonies are described as having "garlic nan trees" and rivers of madras). In appearance, Vindaloovians basically resemble a humanoid egg with a single prominent, blue eye placed in their tiny forehead above a horizontal mouth, their only other facial feature. They stand roughly 1 meter tall and are almost as broad, and have a wide variety of skin tones and hair colors (though they often shave their heads bald). They have only three digits (a thumb and two roughly equal length fingers) on either hand. Vindaloovian fashion leans heavily towards ostentatious military costumes; if doesn't have epaulets, spurred jackboots and a half-cape, they don't want it. Vindaloovians originally were highly xenophobic and aimed to destroy all other intelligent lifeforms (a policy referred to as Wipe Out Everyone!, or WOE!), but have in recent times relaxed this to merely hating humans with a passion (Wipe Humans Out All Over!, or WHOA!). Imperial edict is that humans are absolute scum, intergalatic vermin who cannot be trusted, and the official strategy, enforced by their agressive society, is "brutally dismember first, ask questions later". Vindaloovian society consists of three tiers. The topmost tier are the high officials, a member of which is referred to as a Tarka, from whose number is selected the Emperor or Empress of the Vindaloovian Empire. Below them are the skilled middle class, which includes the military officers, whose official title is Bindi. The final tier makes up the majority of the labor and soldiery, and carries the title of Grunti. Social mobility is possible through invidual deeds, but does not apply to the Vindaloovian's family unit (mainly because Vindaloovians reproduce through cloning vats and offspring are raised by the state). Some Vindaloovians do rebel against the Imperial doctrine (which, among other things, requires a devout love of Wagner and Prokofiev) and are banished to wander deep space, either with fellow renegades or with motley bands of space drifters, such as other GELFs, mechanoids, evolved pets... and even humans and holograms. Pleasure GELFs Pleasure GELFs are, in their natural form, amorphous, green slimy blobs around 1.5 metres high. In this default form they have a single tentacle-like appendage with an eye on the end. At least one Pleasure GELF has resolved to finding a "cure" for its "condition". Pleasure GELFs are telepathic. They can sense whatever the people around them would be attracted to, and make them believe that this is what they're seeing. The Pleasure GELF named Camille took the form of a female Series 4000 GTi mechanoid when rescued from a wreck by Kryten3. Unlike several other genetically engineered life forms, such as the manipulative polymorphs and the aggressive beastmen-GELFs, pleasure GELFs are actually benevolent and non-threatenting. Each of the Dwarfers saw their dream partners, and Camille was forced to reveal her true nature. Despite its natural form, Kryten began dating it. Camille eventually left to help her partner, a Pleasure GELF named Hector, in a manner similar to Casablanca. Polymorphs A polymorph is a shape-shifting organism that can change into anything it pleases, and lives by draining a person of a negative emotion. It was designed to be the perfect warrior, blending into any background, causing confusion and disarray amongst the enemy by playing with their emotions, but the creature mutated into something terrifying its creators couldn't control. One of the polymorph's forms appears somewhat similar to the xenomorph alien from the movie Alien. The Grant Naylor novel Better Than Life provides a slightly different origin to the polymorphs. According to that book, the surviving GELF of a great war were dumped on a garbage world (actually future Earth) and left to die. Most did die, except for those specifically suited to survive in such an environment. The polymorphs evolved from these organisms. Emohawks Emohawks are a Polymorph whose natural form is something similar to a large bird or hawk. Like all Polymorphs, the Emohawk is emotional leech - it steals emotions from other living creatures. Emohawks are domesticated variants of Polymorphs that are spayed at birth, raised by the Kinitawowi and trained to do their bidding. Emotions drained by the Emohawks are a highly valued trading commodity amongst the Kinitawowi. The Emohawk seems to be able to drain specific aspects of an individual's personality as well as mere emotions; it drains Arnold Rimmer of his bitterness and Cat of his cool, turning them into Ace Rimmer and Duane Dibbley. Psirens Psirens are GELFs which can telepathically alter the perception of humans, in order to suck out their brains with a straw. In their natural form, Psirens are insectoids standing at around two metres high and look something like giant beetles, with giant bulbous eyes and a large carapace. Their name and manner are similar to the Sirens of Greek mythology. Symbi-morph The novel Last Human features a GELF called a Symbi-morph which is very similar to the Pleasure GELF, but seems to have actual shape-shifting abilities. Its neutral or "true" form is an androgynous humanoid with a black and white matrix colour scheme. It has five telepathic hooks which it can fire into someone to read their mind and shape-shift accordingly, with each additional hook making the connection more powerful. Lister was allowed to spend a night with a symbi-morph but rather than being given a "broken" one (one who is not bonded telepathically to anyone) he was given Reketrebn, a symbi-morph who was bonded with four hooks to an abusive Dingotang named Deki. Although they were only bonded with one hook, Lister managed to convince Reketrebn to help him escape and run away from Deki, by whom it was being severely mistreated. Dingotangs Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs: orangutans with the heads of dingoes. Dolochimps Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs with the heads of dolphins, the bodies of chimpanzees and the legs of giant locusts. Alberogs Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs with the heads of albatrosses, the bodies of bears and the legs of giant frogs. Alberogs make up most of the population of the asteroid Arranguu 12, the site of the Gelf Forum of Justice. The Regulator of Justice is an Alberog. Snugiraffes Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs with the heads of cobras, the bodies of giant slugs and the legs of giraffes, who also appear to have had a bucket of mucus thrown at them. Snugiraffes are called the most repulsive creatures ever to have lived, with the exception of George Formby — even just seeing them can trigger vomiting (or, in the case of holograms and mechanoids, dry-retching). They are still highly prized, however, because they eat everyone else's effluence and process it into a smokeless fuel. The warden of Cyberia, the cyber-prison on the asteroid Lotomi 5, is a Snugiraffe. It isn't troubled by the reaction other beings have to its appearance, considering vomiting to be a form of greeting.